Freedom in the Relationship
Love and freedom may be understood as one and the same. The words love and God may be used in place of each other. And the words freedom and God are the same. Consequently, the words love and freedom can be used interchangeably. They describe one and the same experience.
This has important implications for marriage.
Most people do not accept that when you love someone, love gives the loved one total freedom. Yes, total freedom, because you can not be a little free or more. Either you are free or you are not.
Generally, people do not experience freedom in their relationships.
Not when they are punished by someone who leaves them or makes their life miserable. Not when they receive that punishment for liking to play golf, for being absorbed in their work, or for not paying enough attention to the other person – or, God forbid, for living a moment of love with sexual expression with someone else.
In the days of the New Spirituality, people will understand that they always have complete freedom in relationships, that no one can take it away from them because that is who I am – and any attempt to blame someone else for limiting their freedom is just a simple act of forgetting.
Relationships are based on complete freedom.
That’s how they work.
Both partners in a relationship have the freedom to express their preferences and make choices. These displays are statements of who you are. All choices have consequences.
But the consequences are not punishments, they are outcomes. Neither party should feel offended or “hurt” by the other’s free choices. To say that you feel deeply hurt by another’s free choice is to deny who you both really are. It is an act of forgetting.
The relationship is the perfect expression of freedom.
Unhappiness and pain arise when the co-creators of a relationship forget this and place themselves in the role of “victim”. I see marriage the same way I see life – that is, in no particular way Life is simple. So is marriage. It is what it is – and it is not what it is not. You decide.
Marriage is what two people say it is.
I would say that all interpersonal relationships, including marriage, are experienced at best as a constant ebb and flow, an uninterrupted and ever-changing process in which there are no rules or restrictions, in which the only point of understanding is that you tell the truth, here and now – and in which preferences are openly made known and decisions and choices are openly made and consequences are openly accepted, as natural consequences of the ebb and flow itself.
In other words, each says what he chooses, he does what he chooses, and he is what he chooses to be, and if the choices of one spoil or hinder the happiness of the other, then the other will declare that, and if the same choices are made, then the other makes his own choice. and that is how the process works, free choice after free choice, after free choice, in the name of love and life itself.
In this scenario, there are no victims and no criminals, no spouses or partners who are “right” and “wrong”, but only beings with an awake mind, conscious, aware, consciously observing, and consciously choosing permanent co-creation.
People want to believe that marriage fidelity means being faithful to one person for the rest of your life and loving that person and only that person in an intimate way. They say that this scenario does not allow for freedom. How so.
The script says that “the sexual expression of your love for another person is a deep betrayal and dishonor to the first person.
” If this is the scenario you are willingly engaging in, how is it not an expression of freedom?
And if you stay in that scenario and voluntarily respect its agreements, how is that not an expression of freedom?
You are hired because you want to be, not because you have to be. If you do it, you do it because you want to.
Everything you do in life, you do because you want to. There is nothing that cannot be done by free will.
They also say that if you do something just to avoid losing a relationship, there is no freedom.
But that is freedom.
You make a free choice to stay in that relationship. You notice what it takes to do that, and you do it of your own free will.
When and where was freedom taken from you?
In the days of New Spirituality, relationships will not involve blame, judgment, and victim-perpetrator role scenarios, but will be understood as experiences of co-creation where all parties take responsibility for their choices.
Personal relationships are a wonderful training ground.
They offer an unparalleled opportunity to declare and proclaim, to express and fulfill, to become and experience who you really are and who you want to be now. Instead, people prefer to make a free choice and then declare that they had no choice.
This allows them to put themselves in the role of “victim” and make the other person the “bad guy.”
To say that you had no choice is to give up the state of mastery, it is to give up your power to someone else, it is to live in a lie. Whatever choice you make is the best choice of all.
Life puts you in the position of making “bad choices” when you are about to make a great discovery in the experience of who you are.
Remember, making difficult choices is always your soul’s announcement to your mind through your body – namely, that the moment of leap has come to complete your being.
The truth is that your decisions at such times are not “bad” – they are just “critical.” You will come to such a Critical Choice Point about six or seven times in your life. Welcome these Critical Choice Points, do not back down from them.
They give you a rare chance to leap forward in your development – a breathtaking opportunity.
They are always one of life’s greatest blessings. ”