The Purpose of the Relationship – Neale Donald Walsch
In the past, you entered into relationships because you were looking to share your life with someone, to find happiness, to hope that you would find fulfillment and joy. You just wanted to end loneliness.
There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just not possible.
“You can never end the loneliness in your life until you end the loneliness in your inside life.”
If you feel alone inside, if you feel incomplete inside, you will spend the rest of your life looking outside your being to find what you can not find, and after having the same experience over and over again, you may end up in a series of relationships.
Relationships do not last because you do not understand what you are doing here.
You are trying to find fulfillment – instead of creating fulfillment, You are trying to find joy – instead of creating joy. You think that relationship is a process of discovery – and it is not.
It is a process of creation.
The same can be said about life.
You say that you tried to “create” joy, happiness, and fulfillment in the relationship, but sometimes the other person still left.
“And that took the joy, happiness, and fulfillment out of your life?”
Then they were not there, to begin with.
No one can take away what is inside of you.
That’s why you do not need a relationship to create that “inside” of happiness and fulfillment. Use a relationship to live your experience.
Like God, you create relationships to experience who you are inside. Therefore, you really do not need a relationship outside of yourself.
It is beneficial to have a relationship with you – God -Life-love within you.
In the days of the New Spirituality, it will be clear that all relationships begin with, end with, and are created within the human soul. Once you have a relationship with you- with Life, with God, with All That Is – within you, the relationships you have with anything and anyone outside of you will be a true experience of joy, happiness, and fulfillment – because you put them there.
Absolutely not to the other person in your relationship.
If you put this on the person you love, they will run away from you because they will see a void in you that they cannot fill.
The purpose of a relationship is not to find fulfillment, but to share your own fulfillment. Not to find joy, but to share your own joy.
Not to find happiness, but to share your own happiness.
If you are not happy when you enter into a relationship, you will not have the happiness to bring to the relationship – and in human relationships, you can only find what you bring.
This is a truth that applies to everything that life brings.
So the relationship is a contextual field, a prop or a vessel into which you can pour all that you are.
Then you can put your hand in and take out any aspect – or aspects of you – that you want to express and experience Now.
You can not take anything out of that bowl that you did not put in. It’s a mistake to wait for someone else to give it to you.
In short, a relationship is about giving, not taking?
It means both. But what you get in a relationship, you get from yourself. The illusion is that you are getting something from the other person. So what you receive is only what you give. That is the secret!
If you imagine that you are receiving something that you are not willing or able to give, you will be disappointed – and you will disappoint the other person.
You can give what you want to receive.
There is nothing you want from a relationship that you cannot give in a relationship.
Analyze the possibility that you entered into a relationship to remind yourself how you can be greater than you are.
That is the purpose of all relationships and all of life.
I have said that “the purpose of life is to transform yourself into the next greatest version of the highest vision you have ever had of yourself.”
To do that, you have complete freedom.
Freedom is not something given by God. Freedom is who you are. God is this – and you are this.
This is the essence of who you are.
In the days of the New Spirituality, all people will understand the purpose of relationships and the process of life and their role in it – they will bless the process and call it sacred; they will engage in the process and call it an adventure; they will live the experience of the process and call it joy – then they will end the process and gladly resume it at a time of their choosing in the endless cycle of ecstasy that is creation itself.
This is the story of consciousness revealing itself. This is the story of evolving humanity. This is your story, the story of who you are. Your relationships are a part of that story. So the fundamental purpose of a relationship is evolution.
Evolution is the fundamental goal of everything.
And there is no quicker way to evolve than through the process of your outward relationship with another.
The sacred relationship is one in which your inside meets the outside of another, and in which the inside of another meets your outside. – and in which, in the best moments, the exterior of both melts into the warmth of both interiors, allowing them to meet, to awaken to the awareness that they are identical and form One – and to live that experience.
This is in the world the expression of what you call love.
“The purpose of a relationship is to create a field of experience in which you can find yourself, define yourself, and – if you wish – constantly recreate being who you are. In a relationship, you have no obligations.
No restrictions or limitations, no guidelines or rules.
You are not bound by circumstances or situations, nor are you restricted by a code or law.
You do not have to be punished for any crime – nor are you capable of one – because in God’s eyes, there is no such thing as “committing a crime.”
You cannot believe in a relationship without commitment because you cannot accept who and what you really are. You call “spiritual anarchy” a life of complete freedom. I call it the great promise of God.
God’s great plan can only be realized within the framework of that promise: You have no obligations in a relationship, not in your whole life.
You have only opportunities.
Opportunities, not obligations, are the basis of all spiritual thinking. As long as you see things the other way around, you lose what is essential.
Your relationship – your relationship with everything around you – was created as a perfect tool for the activity of the soul.
For this reason, all human relationships are sacred land. For this reason, every personal relationship is sacred.
Marriage is a sacred mystery, but not because of the sacred obligations involved, but rather because of the unique opportunity it represents.
Never do anything in a relationship out of a sense of obligation.
Whatever you do, it is the duty of the wonderful opportunity that this relationship offers you to choose and be who you really are.
Keeping a relationship does not mean it’s a success.
Do not confuse longevity with a job well done.
Remember that your mission on this planet is not to see how long you can keep a relationship, but to decide and experience who you really are.
This is not a plea for short-term relationships and not a prerequisite for long-term relationships.
Even though it’s not a requirement, I have to tell you: long-term relationships offer remarkable opportunities to grow together, express yourself together, and complete yourself together – that’s the reward you get.
First and foremost, make sure you are entering into a relationship for the right reasons. a goal to be loved or to love – and those are some of the better reasons.
Others do it to save their ego, to get rid of depression, to improve their sex life, to recover from another relationship, or maybe to relieve boredom.
You say that you did not get into a relationship for these reasons, but because “you fell in love”.Bottom of Form
I do not think you ever thought about why you fell in love, I do not think you ever thought about the demands of that feeling, what your needs were.
For most people, love is a response to the fulfillment of certain needs.
You both see in each other the opportunity to meet those needs. From that moment on, you tacitly agree to fair trade. I give you what I have, you give me what you have. It’s a transaction where you do not tell the truth. Do not say “I am negotiating with you”, say “I love you”.
You ask me what’s wrong with falling head over heels in love without thinking about it?
There’s nothing wrong.
Fall in love with as many people as you want. But if you intend to be in a relationship for life with them, you might want to think a little longer.
On the other hand, if you like going through a relationship like water – or, worse, staying in a relationship because you think it’s “that way ” and living a life of quiet desperation – if you like repeating the same patterns from the past, go ahead and do what you are doing now.
But if you want a successful long-term relationship, make sure you start the relationship with a goal, because both cadets agree on a conscious level that that goal is to create an opportunity, not an obligation – an opportunity to evolve, to fully express yourself, to lift your life to its highest potential, to banish any false thoughts or petty notions you ever had about yourself, and to ultimately unite with God.
By uniting your two souls – if you take this path instead of the vow you took, the relationship is off to a very good start.
You have started very well.
You need to know and understand that there will be challenges and definitely difficult moments.
Do not try to avoid them. Accept them gratefully.
Think of them as wonderful gifts from God, wonderful opportunities to accomplish what brought you to enter into the relationship – and life.
Throughout this time, make an effort not to think of your partner as an enemy, an adversary. In fact, try not to think of anyone or anything as an enemy, even a problem.
Learn the technique of looking at all your problems as opportunities to be and decide who you really are. In this case, expand your horizons, expand your depth of vision, see that there is more to you than you think. See that there is more to your partner as well. Because there is so much more. It’s only fear that keeps him from showing it to you.
When he realizes that you see more, he will feel safe to show you what you have already seen. Because people tend to see in themselves what we see in them.
The greater our vision, the greater their desire to touch and show that part of themselves that we have shown them.
Is not this how all truly blessed relationships work? Is not this part of the healing process – a process where we allow people to ‘expel’ all the wrong thoughts they have ever had about themselves?
“Excerpts from the books ‘Tomorrow’s God’ and ‘Conversations with God’.